A first grader in Nevada recently celebrated his birthday at school with a batch of cupcakes and an oversized gift, which he opened in front of his classmates. Inside was his father, on leave from his second term in Iraq. The child realizes that his dad won’t be hanging around long, though. “He has to work,” the first grader told the Associated Press. “He works in the war.”

These words define this child’s generation. They’ve known nothing but violence. The war has always existed. Isn’t it sad that some children today have only ever known their parents to show up every six months for two weeks at a time? Their parents are contained to letters, photos and Skype instead of being three-dimensional caretakers.

This accepted way of life could have serious consequences as these children grow older. If war is not just accepted but also expected, then this generation will think it’s normal to fight, hate and use violence in place of finding common ground and using mediation to come to a peaceful solution when problems arise.

“He works in the war.” They sound like loaded words to me, but am I being unreasonable? Is it really so simple that a man can appear in a box on a birthday, enjoy a cupcake with his son and play with him for a couple weeks before hopping back on a plane to head back to the killing field? I hope I’m not alone in my fear for the world when this has become common practice. And I hope that someday we can turn the tables so that kids can say, with honest ease: “He has to work. He works for peace.”