That said, I admit that one thing that bums me out about my job is that I do the vast majority of these things on my own. While fully acknowledging how truly awesome these experiences are, I also admit that it’s often lonely to do them alone. The classic example I use when people ask me about this aspect of my job is the time I stayed on a private island in Vietnam. I had my own villa, butler and private pool. I also had a huge fruit basket and a couple bottles of wine in my accommodations. The island was beautiful and relaxing. Everything about this place spelled romance, and yet I was totally and completely alone. This is just like the time I went snorkeling in St. John’s, drove exotic cars through Red Rock Canyon, rode in my first hot air balloon, skied the slopes in Vail … well, you get the idea.

I do these things for my job, and I recognize that I can’t share every moment with someone, but spending time with others has become an increasingly important thing in my life. This is why I’ve become very selective about where I go and when, and what I do. I’ve passed up some experiences and trips because it’s more important that I be available to attend a jazz band concert or awards ceremony … or it’s just been too long since we sat down to dinner as a family.

But for those rare times when I’m given the opportunity to invite someone else to join me, I take them because I love to share my moments. Instead of just telling people about the awesome food I ate or the amazing place I visited, I actually get to share the experience with someone, and for that I am very grateful.

This past week, for example, I had to take a helicopter trip to the bottom of the Grand Canyon for a story I’m working on, and I was given the opportunity to invite someone to join me. What an awesome once-in-a-lifetime experience, so I brought our foreign exchange student, Magnus, and together the two of us hovered above the ground in our helicopter before lifting off and flying into one of the greatest natural wonders on our earth. These experiences do not come cheaply, and I recognize that this is a sacrifice on behalf of the agency that paid for our experience, but this experience meant so much more to me because it was shared—it’s so much more than just a story cased in a few hours of my day. We both had so much fun, laughing and pointing out things as we flew into the canyon. Yes, the canyon was awesome, but it was more awesome because Magnus and I did experienced it together. At the end of the day, anyone can have this experience, but no one can have the personal experience Magnus and I shared. That evening, Magnus thanked me for inviting him to take the helicopter ride into the Grand Canyon, but I think I’m the lucky one. I thanked him for coming with me, for sharing my moment with me. It’s rare I get to do this, and it means so much that someone else is going to carry this awesome moment as well.

The same is true with dining—I can eat food anywhere, but when I get to enjoy a meal with someone else, it’s also about the conversation, the camaraderie, building the relationship. That’s how life experiences actually happen, and this is how I prefer mine. When I can share my moments, they mean so much more than if they were simply passing trips, opportunities and meals filed away for story ideas.

During the month of April, I worked on a handful of articles for several regional publications. I also spent about a week furiously editing a book for one of my clients. You can find my published work from April in the following locations:

In the spring 2013 issue of Massage Envy’s magazine, ME:

• Boost Your Brainpower

In the April/May 2013 issue of Acadiana Profile:

• From Ashes to Architecture

Online at USA Today’s Experience Las Vegas site:

• Surprise Me – You think you know Las Vegas? Think again!

In print for Travel Weekly, and now available online as well:

• Clean Living at MGM Grand
• ‘Evolution’ in Mandalay Bay Refurb

In my bi-weekly Las Vegas e-letter for Travel Weekly:

• Best Sites to See the Lights
• Vegas 500 Air Tours Launches Fast-Paced Grand Canyon Package
• Caesars Palace Restaurant Opens Cognac Lounge
• Ferraro’s Offers Diners a Personal Touch
• ‘Raiding the Rock Vault’ Kicks Off Yearlong Run at LVH
• Gold Coast Finishing Renovation Project
• Sequestration Forces Air Show Cancellation
• Bagatelle Beach Debuts in Las Vegas
• Venetian, Palazzo Announce Carnevale Festival Details
• Pool Clubs: A Las Vegas Summer Destination

In addition, I wrote a feature for the March/April 2013 issue of The New Physician called Healthy Entertainment, which examines the intersection of pop culture and health literacy.

I did a bit of traveling in April including:

• The conclusion of a road trip for spring break, which hit highlights at the Grand Canyon, Williams, Flagstaff (which included time at an extreme ropes course and horseback riding) and Scottsdale (for spring training) in Arizona, and Laguna Beach in California.
• A four-day trip to Laguna Beach, California, to experience Surf & Sand Resort. The weather on this trip was much better than the week before, and I thoroughly enjoyed the beach this time. This was a fairly low-key trip, but I did try a couple new restaurants, and I took a jewelry class at Sawdust Studios.
• A three-day tour of Las Vegas’ arts and culture highlights with an emphasis on new places to drink and dine in downtown Las Vegas.
• The inaugural Virgin America flight from Los Angeles to Las Vegas with Sir Richard Branson and several celebrities.
• A weekend outside of Zion National Park, where I participated in the first Ragnar Relay Trails race.
• A four-day trip to Carlsbad, California, where I met with a client to discuss a book project.

And then the explosions at the finish line of the Boston Marathon happened. This tragic event, more than any of the others that have come before it, shook me up. Perhaps it’s because I have a friend who works at a water station on the course every year (she was at mile 23 this year). Or perhaps it’s because these are my people. This is my community.

Tens of thousands of people are a part of the running culture in the United States. It’s a community of people who eat a ridiculous number of calories and run under bizarre conditions. We’re people who will keep going for ten more minutes or one more mile even if we’re tired or hungry or sore. I’ve written about the running culture on a few different occasions and I know that, when someone decided to set a bomb at the finish line of the Boston Marathon, they were messing with the wrong crowd. If anyone knows how to persevere and fight back, it’s runners.

Like them, I tie up my shoes and brave the elements, whatever they might be. Like them, I set my watch to the satellites and calculate my speed and distance. Like them, I stretch my calves and ankles, my shoulders and wrists. Like them, I hydrate often and carb load before a long run. Like them, I pound the pavement, whether I have a good day or a bad day. I am not a fast runner or a well-accomplished one, but I am a runner.

The other night, my husband and I were having dinner with our current foreign exchange student, and my husband said that we may be the closest thing to a “normal” family. If normal consists of a 30-something couple without their own children but an extended branch of non-blood-related kids from other countries and a brood of pets and foster animals, then, yes, we’re a normal family … and I love it exactly the way it is.

Our foreign exchange students are friends with each other on Facebook and like each other’s photos on Instagram. They haven’t met each other (yet) but they share something that no other kids do—they are our kids for at least a short period in their lives, and they’ll always be “ours.” I wonder if they think of each other as brothers and sisters of sorts, or maybe they are more like distant cousins. It doesn’t really matter, though, because the fact of the matter is that this is our family. Slice and dice it any way you want, our family is “normal” for us.

I think it’s a rare day that someone doesn’t have a step parent, child or sibling, or one that is adopted (either legally or simply through love). People get divorced and remarried; they invite extended family or friends to move in for a myriad of reasons. It doesn’t matter what size, shape or mix of people a family is. The consistent qualities of a family, I believe, are love and trust. A married man and a woman constituting the basis of a core family unit is a concept that is terribly antiquated. I think any group of people who have the qualities of a family—whether they live together or span the globe—can call themselves a family. Welcome to a world where there is no common definition for a close-knit collection of people who consider themselves partners and kin, where people can simply love and be and call themselves a family.

I turned on a single light. I dropped a Pure Moods CD into my ancient CD player and scooped up our oldest, smallest dog, sinking into the couch with her in an attempt to lull her into a lazy state of mind before tucking her in to her kennel for the night. Our oldest cat began the laborious bathing process on my left. Our slinky black cat tucked into a loaf and closed her eyes on my right.

For a brief moment, I thought about getting up and grabbing my phone from the counter, where it was plugged in to charge. If I was just sitting on the couch, I might as well catch up on my Twitter feed or my Facebook updates or my Words with Friends game or …

But wait. I was exhausted. My body felt like a melting lump of lead, heavy and overburdened. My eyes just wanted to close. My thoughts wanted to tip toe in their own directions.

For more than an hour, I sat on the couch, dog in arms, cats by my sides, music in the background, phone far across the room. It was peaceful. Quiet. Uninhibited. Necessary.

I don’t know what I thought about for that hour. I’m not sure it matters. But giving myself that time to just sit, relax, feel our dog’s breathing on my shoulder, listen to my cat’s snoring on my side … it was needed.

I read something the other day about a challenge for friends who go to dinner together. Everyone is supposed to pile their smartphones in the middle of the table, and the first person to pick theirs up has to pick up the tab too. It is shocking to me how pervasive technology is and why we feel like we need to be doing something all the time.

An hour after I’d settled into the couch, our foreign exchange student emerged from his room and got a bowl of cereal. He settled into the chair across from me, and we spent the next 30 minutes or so just chatting. The music still played in the background, but there were no phones, no video games, no movies or television. Just us, our conversation, the sleepy animals and a moment of peace and quiet.

Taking down time is somehow considered unproductive or lazy, but it’s time that I need and savor. I think it’s time that we all need. It may be one hour of quiet, but it’s also a heavy weight off my shoulders, a necessary rest for my body, a time to bond with my family and a moment that can’t last long enough.

And yet, week after week, I reach Friday afternoon and am always appalled by how much is still left over on my to-do list for the week. Why can’t I get through a week—heck, a day—when I can actually complete all the tasks I’ve lined out for myself?

After three years of self-employment, I’ve finally figured it out. On a normal day, I could complete all the tasks on the list. But—and here’s the kicker—there is no normal day. A normal day DOES NOT EXIST. There is always something that derails my best laid plans, to the point where “normal” has lost all meaning. Little things sneak into my day all the time, things that I don’t anticipate happening and, even if they’re small, they add up over time. So far this week, for example, here are a few things that knocked my thoughts off the to-do list:

> A debate with a friend on whether to attend an upcoming press trip.
> Witnessing a kid get hit by a car, which required that I stick around and give a police report.
> Finals testing week in the school district, which means people are home earlier than usual.
> A new assignment that required a quick scramble for sources.
> An editor needing revisions on a piece that surprised me.
> My hair dresser moving salons, requiring an additional 15-minute drive on my part.
> The garage door broke and I had to deal with the repair guy.

I’ve been thinking about the fact that there is no normal for a few days now, and I think the funniest part of this whole thing is that I continue to plan my days without a buffer for the unexpected things that I expect will happen. Even funnier is the fact that I’m totally okay with rolling with the unexpected. The cat is sick? I’ll clean it up. Our foreign exchange student needs a ride somewhere? I’m on it. A friend wants me to take a quick look over an article before submitting it to an editor? No problem. I happily and willingly give my time and attention to other things and people. That’s the way I am, and I wouldn’t want to give those things up because it makes me happy.

Habits are hard to break, yet I suppose I’ll continue to fill my days with plans as if nothing will deviate from the schedule I set out on Sunday nights. At the very least, I know what I’ll be doing every Sunday evening.

One of the things I’m most proud of is that many of the things in 2012′s challenge involved other people – hosting foreign exchange students, finding old friends, taking trips with family members, helping others meet goals on their own bucket lists. 2012 was a fun, satisfying year. Onward to 2013 and another attempt at the 100 Challenge!

1. Wrote a bona fide business plan.
2. Fell in love with a class at the gym.
3. Adopted an all black cat.
4. Made a welcome sign for someone I was picking up at the airport.
5. Became a host parent to a 17-year-old girl.
6. Registered a student in school.
7. Reconnected with a friend from elementary school.
8. Ate escargot.
9. Received a sugar scrub treatment.
10. Watched a professional dance company practice in its studio.
11. Attended a Mardi Gras ball.
12. Ate a pistolette.
13. Ate boudin.
14. Rode on a Mardi Gras float.
15. Ate alligator.
16. Took zydeco dance lessons.
17. Wandered through the world’s largest display of Mardi Gras costumes.
18. Decorated a king cake.
19. Ate king cake and found the baby inside.
20. Tasted crawfish.
21. Participated in a traditional running of the chickens parade.
22. Attended a Mardi Gras royal gala.
23. Received a chocolate sculpture as a gift.
24. Witnessed a world record being broken.
25. Had a caricature drawn of myself.
26. Went to Disneyland.
27. Introduced someone else to true Americana.
28. Made juice.
29. Took a class about holism.
30. Did yoga on the beach.
31. Got a pedicure.
32. Walked across the Hoover Dam bridge.
33. Set foot in New Mexico.
34. Visited the Four Corners.
35. Helped a friend cross something off of her bucket list.
36. Went rappelling (off a 120-foot cliff!).
37. Learned how to go rock climbing.
38. Rode on an ATV …
39. … and then drove an ATV.
40. Made scones.
41. Saw a condor in flight.
42. Did someone’s hair for prom.
43. Introduced someone to camping.
44. Made and ate a s’more.
45. Visited the South Rim of the Grand Canyon during the summer.
46. Was interviewed for a reality show.
47. Traveled around Iceland.
48. Stayed awake for the midnight sun.
49. Saw a starfish in the wild.
50. Visited a church that was painted completely black.
51. Saw a puffin in the wild (and they’re as cute in person as I suspected!).
52. Stood on the western most point of Europe.
53. Saw an arctic fox in the wild.
54. Crossed into the Arctic Circle.
55. Ate a gooseberry.
56. Saw a minke whale in the wild.
57. Saw a humpback whale in the wild.
58. Saw the largest mammal on the planet – a blue whale – in the wild.
59. Sailed in the Arctic Ocean.
60. Stood in awe of brilliant blue ice bergs.
61. Snorkeled in a dry suit.
62. Ate an Icelandic street hot dog.
63. Took a bike tour.
64. Cared for nine animals on my own for a week.
65. Hiked through a lava tube.
66. Completed the Urban Adventure Games.
67. Paddled through man-made white water rapids.
68. Saw Touchdown Jesus in person.
69. Walked through the Notre Dame cathedral.
70. Flew Allegiant Air.
71. Devoted time to creating mail art.
72. Learned about Las Vegas’ growing tech scene.
73. Attended the Book Passage travel writing conference.
74. Met Susan Orlean.
75. Made a very important, personal and life-changing discovery about my career path.
76. Signed a year-long contract with a travel magazine.
77. Launched an email newsletter.
78. Made a commitment to my passion projects.
79. Made a six-day road trip without a radio.
80. Learned about differential tuition.
81. Made a standing Saturday morning coffee date with a good friend.
82. Attended the wedding of a high school friend.
83. Became a host parent to a 16-year-old boy.
84. Bought season tickets to a series of traveling Broadway shows.
85. Saw Wicked (and absolutely LOVED it).
86. Rocked a fedora.
87. Attended a bona fide fundraiser.
88. Ate at a food truck festival.
89. Made more than $1.00/word for a magazine assignment.
90. Ate caviar.
91. Attended the Travel Classics conference.
92. Got a body polish treatment.
93. Received a facial.
94. Stood in a speakeasy.
95. Stood up to sexism.
96. Drove a car that cost as much as my house.
97. Drove faster than 100MPH.
98. Skied in Vail.
99. Rode a magic carpet ski lift.
100. Wrote 52 letters to 52 people in 52 weeks.

If you’re curious what I’ve done in years past, check out my 100 Challenge from 2011.

I am constantly impressed by the opportunities my friends and colleagues create for themselves or are given, and the stories that result because of these opportunities. In an industry that has the potential to become competitive and catty, I celebrate others’ successes because it keeps me jazzed up about my own work, and it inspires me to do more, work harder and stretch my skills to become a better writer and editor.

Being a business owner and hustler of my own work, I’m constantly being reminded that I need to “network” and “get out there.” The fact of the matter is, I’m not always comfortable with networking in the traditional sense of the word, but it is easy for me to meet people over a glass of wine or coffee in a much more casual, one-on-one or small group setting. When this is the case, I suppose I’m networking, but what I’m actually doing is catching up with people with whom I have a common interest and career. It’s when I see the bylines of these people that I become giddy. Perhaps it’s because I know they struggle in their jobs like I do, but they have dreams and aspirations that make those struggles worthwhile. Being in the presence of these inspiring people—people I call my friends—is nothing short of awesome.

I love what people can achieve. Flipping through a magazine, recognizing names, admiring their photographs, appreciating their words … these are things that make me proud.

And most importantly: When can I sign up?

Colleen and I talked about the Urban Adventure Games for the entire 15 minutes we had together at the conference. When I was encouraged to compile my Life List shortly thereafter, it immediately earned a spot. And, in the last few months, Colleen and I trained, schemed and strategized about how we were going to complete the race, which happened the last weekend in July.

I flew out to South Bend on a Thursday evening. On Friday, we picked up all our gear and race packets. On Saturday, we kicked it into high gear. Though we joked about being the winners of the race, our real goal was simply to complete all the tasks and finish the race, which I’m happy to report we did. The results came out yesterday, and we placed well in our division. Out of 67 teams in the women’s open division, we came in 16th.

I couldn’t have asked for a better race partner, better weather or a more perfect day. Thank you to everyone who helped make this Life List goal a reality!

I still have a few chapters to go before I can judge my thoughts on the book as a whole. However, there were a few key passages specifically from the chapter on happiness in Bhutan that really struck me and I wanted to share my thoughts. Bhutan, by the way, is the only country in the world that measures Gross National Happiness, a measurement of happiness or unhappiness of its people rather than looking at the bottom line.

In this chapter, Weiner had this to say about the concept of attention:

‘Attention’ is an underrated word. It doesn’t get the … well, the attention it deserves. We pay homage to love and happiness and, God knows, productivity, but rarely do we have anything good to say about attention. We’re too busy, I suspect. Yet our lives are empty and meaningless without attention.

Which led to this passage about productivity (a recurrent theme throughout the chapter, it turns out):

When I was leaving for my trip to Bhutan, a colleague wished me well. ‘I hope you have a productive trip,’ he said. At the time I thought nothing of it, but here in Bhutan it strikes me as absurd. A productive trip? Why not an enjoyable trip or a good one?

Weiner follows this passage with another related thought a few pages later:

Wealth is liberating, no doubt. … In a wealthy, industrialized society, one where we are supposedly enjoying a bountiful harvest of leisure time, we are discouraged from doing anything that isn’t productive–either monetarily or in terms of immediate pleasure.

Definitely something to chew on there, considering the fact a lot of us tend to work past 5:00 p.m. on Friday afternoons.

And then there is passage on the relationship between crime and happiness, which I found particularly pertinent:

Not surprisingly, places with high crime rates rank low on the happiness scale. … The reasons are less obvious than you might think. Someone who has been robbed or assaulted, of course, is not likely to be happy, but crime victims still make up a tiny part of the population (in most countries at least). It’s not the crime per se that makes places unhappy. It’s the creeping sense of fear that permeates everyone’s lives, even those who have never been–and probably never will be–victims of crime.

I’ve always been of the mindset that people are inherently good, and I think that’s part of the reason why I tend to be a fairly upbeat and optimistic person. I think it takes way too much energy to be stressed out and constantly living in fear, so the above statement was something that definitely resonated with me.

Finally, there is this passage. In meeting with Karma Ura, a man who runs Bhutan’s only think tank, Weiner has an interesting exchange with the man:

‘Karma, are you happy?’
‘Looking back at my life, I find that the answer is yes. I have achieved happiness because I don’t have unrealistic expectations.’
This strikes me as odd. In America, high expectations are the engines that drive us, the gas in our tanks, the force behind our dreams and, by extension, our pursuit of happiness.

This passage is the one that has most resonated with me since reading it. I think lots of Americans have high expectations placed on them (varsity letters, college degrees and successful careers built on the foundation of student loans), but, perhaps to an even greater degree, Americans place these high expectations on themselves, myself included.

What are your thoughts? How do you define happiness?